Anonymous asked:
femsubdenial answered:
Sure.
Red means stop. No more negotiation, something has crossed a line (too painful, something bad that wasn’t negotiated, etc.)
Yellow means that you need a break or that something is too much, or that if the top continues then you’re going to “red” soon.
Green means that things are going well and you want to continue if not ramp it up a little.
While a bottom might blurt out red or yellow, I’ve never seen a bottom volunteer “green”. It’s usually said in answer to when a top is checking in to make sure everything is okay. Asking “How are you?” and getting an answer of “fine” or “okay” might mean the bottom is just on autopilot and reflexively answering. Asking “What’s your color?” and getting “green” or “I was very close to yellow when you stopped” is much better.
One of my favorite doms to watch at parties was doing a pre-scene negotiation with someone he hadn’t played with before and said something like “Now, just between you and me here ;-) , my favorite color is yellow. It’s not about taking anything I can dish out. I promise you, I can always go harder. I want to know how you’re doing. I’ll likely yellow you, on purpose, a few times, just to find out where your limits are and then aim for a little below that. I don’t want to hear ‘green green green, green green red’ because then the scene’s over. I want some indication of how you’re doing and when you’re getting close to what you can handle, okay?”
And then, whenever she yellowed, he praised her. And why wouldn’t he?? She gave him vital information that allowed the both of them to have more fun!
Recently I have heard some discussions on also adding BLUE to this system for medical issues. It would function like RED but also in one word alert your partner you are having a medical issue, e.g. asthma attack, body cramps, low blood sugar, dizziness or some other sysmtom that is a problem for you. If you have already discussed medical issue with you partner, which you should do, blue might key them into something they can respond to with that knowledge to help rather than red and having to explain further.
Example: if I have asthma and communicate with my partner that it’s been bothing me recently and here is where my inhaler will be during a scene and I start having breathing issues and can’t stop coughing or catch my breathe to make out long or multiple words, I can say blue and they would know to get my inhaler. Or they would know to ask medical related questions in relation to stopping rather than thinking they pushed too hard.
I hadnt heard of the BLUE addition, but that’s great. Thanks for spreading the word about it.
